Funny Poems, quotes

“One bright day in the middle of the night 2 dead boys got up to fight. back to back they faced eachother,drew their swords and shot eachother. a deaf policeman heard the noise, got right up and arrested the boys. if you think this tale is tall, ask the old blind man, he saw it all”. …

it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me

*****

(I Have to Write a Poem)

I have to write a poem

but I really don't know how.

So maybe I'll just make a rhyme

with something dumb, like "cow."

Okay, I'll write about a cow,

but that's so commonplace.

I think I'll have to make her be...

a cow from outer space!

My cow will need a helmet

and a space suit and a ship.

Of course, she'll keep a blaster

in the holster on her hip.

She'll hurtle through the galaxy

on meteoric flights

to battle monkey aliens

in huge karate fights.

She'll duel with laser sabers

while avoiding lava spray

to vanquish evil emperors

and always save the day.

I hope the teacher likes my tale,

"Amazing Astro Cow."

Yes, that's the poem I will write

as soon as I learn how.

By Kenn Nesbitt

*****

I thought it was HILARIOUS! I recited it to my dad and he burst out laughing

(A Pug is a Dog)

A pug is a dog

with a curlicue tail.

He eats like a hog

and he snores like a whale.

He's flat in the snout

and his belly is big.

The pug came about

just by misspelling pig.

By Kenn Nesbitt

****

(Best Friends)

if someone said what's a best friend

I'd have to say someone who's there, till the bitter end

someone who listens when times get shit

someone who'll tell you your fella's a git

they'll always arrive in the nick of time

with chocolate and vodka

and a feel better line like "your too good for him anyway"

or "well you said he was crap in bed"

or even "I know babe get with my cousin instead"

coz best friends are angels, that god sent along,

to get bladdered beside you and dance like a mong.

she'll tell you your stunning when your looking fab

but will call you a hippo when your flashing your flab

she'll stand by your side and love all your kids

she'll be your chief bridesmaid when you marry your git

when you make the wrong choice

and she knew how it'd go

she'll give you a cuddle and never say "told you so"

so this is for you my best friend in the world

your my rock

your my sanity

couldn't have wished for a better girl.

By Ailsa

*****

(My Friend)

My Friend is special to me,

her snoring sounds like a bee,

her name is Fay.

She comes to my house at the weekend too stay.

Fay, Fay with your snoring,

all I can do is love you anyway.

By  Antonia Wright